Let's try this again...

Almost 2 years ago now, my god I am almost ashamed to put that down, I began this blog with the notion that I would keep in touch with my family and friends and the world at large during what was a year long trip abroad. Needless to say that did not go as planned.



I have excuses a plenty. I could tell you about the bad internet connections in Laos, or the difficulty of finding access in New Zealand since we were mostly in very rural places. I could sling completely rational reasons for claiming that I was going to do something and then didn't, but the truth is I was a bum then and probably still one now.

In reality I have always found correspondence difficult, I don't pick up my phone as often as I should and I take time to answer emails. I'm a talker, there is no doubt about that for those who know me, but I am without question a bad far away friend. My family has learned to accept it begrudgingly and my friends fluctuate between complete understanding and rage. I will say this, my guilt over not having kept up with my communication and documentation of that long and wondrous trip from which I am still recovering did have some thought out reasons behind the negligence.

We, James my partner for those who live in caves &/or don't know me, took this trip for a lot of reasons but once it really got started i found myself breathing differently and really examining all that I had left behind, asking questions I had not thought of or was afraid to ask about who I am, about my work and about how I was approaching my life. In many ways the trip for me became a year long "state of the union" and I found it hard to keep connected to the world I was trying to self examine. Maybe it was/is a quarter life crisis. I don't know that I believe that but it's been suggested by some so I'll consider it. Fact is for some reason I needed the space and I do think it helped.

Then we returned, we came back and the year, thus far, has been a whirl wind of reconnection and new connections. Of releasing old habits and adding new ones. It has carried a lot of growing pains with it but I think, I hope, I am better for it.

Now I'd like to try this again. I can't promise it will work, and you can't promise you'll read it but I hope it helps to fix that old habit of distance and lets me communicate with you all more.

Until next time.

stephanie*

one down...

After traveling the US for 5 weeks and having finally landed in Australia almost a week ago I feel a bit embarrassed to admit this is the first real blog from the traveling Cuban...and yet there is no denying it, I mean just look around.

:::head turning right and left quickly until it almost falls off:::

Yep, admittedly tardy on the blogging. But you see the pressure was on, though ofcourse I am aware it is only in my head, that doesn't make the loud yelling feel any less deafening, and those who have heard me yell would agree, it's a scary voice in and out. But now 6 weeks have passed and I feel biting the bullet is the only way. If I waited much longer it would feel like a house built that sat empty for a year, uninhabitable. So off we go!

The traveling in the States came to a wonderful close in San Fransisco, staying with the wonderfully hillarious Lizz and Coire ( or "Couarrrr" as James would say), which came after the relaxing Arkansas, the exhausting Miami and the invigorating NYC. All in all a proper adieu to our homeland I think, and now we are upside down and learning to walk with all the blood having rushed to our heads. Heehee....the first of many bad "Down Under" jokes so get prepared.

Thoughts and Realizations from the US tour: I can eat more catfish in a sitting than James. My grandmother is still now and will always be funnier and cooler than me. Chicago officially feels like home, and so does living with Christine who we now both miss horribly. I can live out of a pack much more successfully than I lived out of a closet. If you really want to, you can make seitan anywhere. NY is quieter than you'd think. San Fransisco is colder than I expected. You can't miss Ranch Dressing if you never had it to begin with. Conservatroy kids will find eachother and gather in madness and merriment anywhere there is beer. Evan still makes the best mix 'tapes' in the world.

Auditions for the project begin tonight and I feel really good. The group of wonderfully talented people already signed on is really exciting. Meetings and dates for painting have already started to be made and now all we need is those final two performers to know what our life for the next 2 months will be. I feel good about numbers and am also excited to say that along with piano playing Nick we are looking at 2 accordianists and a cellist for the music and general sound of the show. If I can have the sweet sound of the accordian in everything I do for the rest of my life I will be a happier woman for it truly.

James and I are living in a huge tent on lucy's back balcony and I have to say it feels very lovely and Bedouin-esque which makes me feel very adventurous. It's really quite lovely and I highly recommend this as a solution for long term guests. We get privacy, and don't feel as though we've taken over someone's living space for a pair of months, and you get a funny little Hoover ville out the back door. Everyone wins. Pictures are coming I promise, I am simply getting adjusted and actually haven't taken my camera out much since we arrived just to let my brain and the jet lag adjust to the new surroundings and such. But they will be up soon and I promise to post as soon as they exist.

And now I am off to take a water saver shower (WE'RE IN A DROUGHT FOR CHRISTSAKE!!!).

ciao!
s*

Getting ready to miss....

The Fall...my friends...my job....my favorite kids....the spareroom...silly 'rock stars' recording down stairs....living with christine.....my own bath room....little mahmud...the fall!....driving to Indiana for wire and rusted things....the handlebar....skylark....my deck....walking from lakeview to down town....the park.....the field.....my closet full of hand bags....npr.....chicago

New

I feel as though I am getting overwhelmed by how many lists & groups I am a part of online so I thought I would try and create something easier and more basic, something like this blog. At the moment I don't have much to develop but I want a place to check in with family & friends.

Currently working on what will be my last show in Chicago for a year, we speed quickly toward that scary place called OPENING and I am already feeling that twinge of sadness, that post-pardon depression that always seems to overtake my once the show opens and no longer belongs to me. It's bitter-sweet and always a bit of a relief but I find myself confused by basic tasks like navigating my life. Luckily I am producing a Performance/Gallery traveling show this summer to keep me busy until I leave town for a while.

Speaking of which, AUSTRALIA AUSTRALIA AUSTRALIA! I am going to Australia, Melbourne to be exact, to direct show for their Fringe Festival and then spend some time traveling the country before going to visit another friend in Thailand and catch up on my shadow puppetrey skills and my desperate need for relaxation. I've been functioning at an absurd level since graduation and I believe it is time for a break to recharge. How can I possibly keep creating "out put" if there is never any time put into "in put"?

This is part of why I wanted to create this place, where I can put down how these experiences affect me and let everyone know I am still alive, safe and happy.

That's all for now.